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Nobody but me even knows sheexists. And I can't get rid of her.I've thought about killing her several times, but I can't. Any injury Iinflict hits me twice as bad. I can't cut her any more than I could severmy own neck. And it's not that I want her to suffer. I want to end hersuffering, but I can't. She is so very fragile and vulnerable, and itbreaks my heart to see her sad. It would be easier if I could truly hateher, but I can't. I love her with every fiber of my heart. But I don'ttreat her like I love her. I keep her locked away, out of sight, in thedark. Where no one can see her, and no one can hurt her, but she can'treally live like this. She wants to feel the sun on her skin, and shareher smile and warmth and love with the world. She wants to make friends,and have people to talk to and play with. She just wants a normal life andI can't give it to her. The world is a sharp, cruel place with many teethand things that gnash and tear. The world will eat her alive, brutalizeher,. (Bill Oscar tore a humungous strip off her for putting the shuttle into the workshop for maintenance when she knew the children were not getting hurt. Bill's wife tore a larger strip off him for doing it.) Pat's main problem had been getting out of her office and to her armoured shuttle. The companions had kept all the children aware of the overall situation and had given seconds warning of the actual attack which Simmo and George had dealt with -harshly — Simmo had crushed a larynx leading to permanent voice damage and snapped a forearm while George destroyed a knee's ligaments and sent the owner's nasal septum into the base of the frontal lobes making the boy permanently affectless. The parents had postulated the force used by the children was unreasonable but their legal counsel were unsympathetic and drew attention to the "force ratio".TJ was surprised at the local coms discipline exhibited by the others particularly in view of their rather casual attitude toward their FTL link.
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